Six out of 10 girlfriends divorced, they said marriage is optional, but must have their own children


When you look down from the second floor, it’s all garbage. When you look down from the 90th floor, it’s all beauty.If one has no height, all he sees are problems;If there is no pattern, all you see is triviality.Life is a puzzle, and marriage is bureau bureau, only stand to a height, to look at the overall situation, only jump out of the outside, to see the opportunity.Life is a rhythm, with light and shadow, left and right, sunny and rainy, the taste is contained in this change but not fierce twists and turns.Marriage is the theme of this rhythm.A woman does not have to be married, but must have children of her own.The cruelty of social reality has not allowed women to leave their fate defenseless to marriage, live well, love will depend on.Yu, 30, from Hubei Province, is single and lives in Shenzhen, working in the most competitive real estate industry.She owns an 89-square-meter house and a car. Apart from her main job, she also works as a travel experience engineer, store evaluation engineer and home stay test sleeper. In just three years, her sideline income has reached millions.Of course, high income means high cost.Weekends, holidays and other people are playing mahjong K songs, yu is the most busy, expand customers, talk about single, maintain customer relations.She is answering messages while going to the bathroom and driving, so she has no time to talk about TV dramas. She should not only maintain the continuous output of her main business, but also strive for promotion, salary increase and project bonus.The poor are poor because they think about how to save money, the rich are rich because they think about how to make money.Ma said, you are poor, because you have no ambition.Clearly, Hwa is an ambitious girl.Her ambitious goal is to buy four houses in Guangdong by the time she is 40, and she is now preparing for a second, with plans to buy three and pay off the mortgage on all three in the next decade.After 40 years old, oneself live a set, two sets collect rent, oneself give oneself endowment.So even though she was working hard all year round, her mantra was: If your main job is stable, you’re stable in poverty.Yu lives a sober life and has her own goals. She is a typical shenzhen girl who makes money and knows how to arm herself with wealth.The sense of security of the female comes from the number inside him deposit card more, oneself earn money oneself spend, a person also can live color unripe sweet, although tired, but happy.All strong woman, the heart is caressing a green astringent and fragile starting point, feather is no exception.She is weak and sickly since childhood, the family is poor originally, all the money in the family is thrown on her, therefore, the family is often looked down upon by the neighbors, from sensible, Feather secretly vowed, must change the status quo by oneself, return parents.Shenzhen is a place rich in dreams, your heart has how much stage has how much, there is no gold everywhere, but there are opportunities.Many people born in 1998 and 2000 bought a house and a car at the age of 22 or 23. When Yu first entered the real estate industry, everyone in the office had two houses, a car and two children, but she had nothing.This greatly stimulated her, she persisted only than others to pay ten times the effort, it is possible to live well, so she and time, and life.Savings of 200,000, she decided to buy a house without hesitation, a person with a credit card ran to the sales department, directly brush 50,000 deposit, brush the money, father arrived.The house had a down payment of 1.08 million yuan, which had to be raised within 10 days, so Yu borrowed 880,000 yuan from 24 people, at least 5,000 yuan.She gave each person a handwritten NOTE promising when they would return it, and if they didn’t, they could use it as a basis for a lawsuit, along with a greeting card that said, ‘You can borrow it from me someday when you need it.’Feather in this way, with only 200 thousand plus their own integrity and 10 times the effort, pry the first bucket of gold in life, opened the road to Rome trestle.A mortgage of 13,000 yuan, a rental of 5,000 yuan, a car of 2,000 yuan, a living allowance of 2,000 yuan for my mother, a total of 3,000 yuan for buying food by myself, plus miscellaneous expenses, yu spends at least 30,000 yuan every month, and only when he earns 45,000 yuan can he have time to think about other things.This is yu’s daily life during the debt, turning pressure into power, forcing himself to concentrate on nothing else. In three years, he paid off the debts of 24 friends, paid off the house mortgage in advance, and fulfilled his promise, gradually lent money to friends to buy a house, and watched them become better step by step.Her goal of buying three more houses may not be realized in a short time, but the desire drives her forward and never stops.Feather with a strong, so that their roots in Shenzhen, live a lot of women want to look, confident, independent, bold.She is cleanly dressed, concise, polished with makeup and a professional smile.But yu, who is so outstanding, started dating in 2015 and has been searching for him for six years, but failed to get married.She was often rejected by boys, who thought she was a strong woman, who was defined as not speaking well, having a bad personality and being very strong. Once she heard that she came from Hubei province, she was even more afraid.Yu’s father even burned incense and prayed at his grandfather’s grave, hoping that Yu could find someone to bring home for the New Year.Yu confessed that in her hometown, there were almost no older girls like her still single, so she dared not go back, afraid of being laughed at and her parents humiliated.Thirty years old birthday that day, feather invited 10 side better boudoir, among them 6 people had divorced, also do not plan to remarry.Yu used to think that a woman must get married and have children, but with the change of people around her, her own experience, no longer demanding marriage, her girlfriends told her: not necessarily married, but must have their own children.This Spring Festival, Yu traveled abroad alone.Divorced woman, no home.Once thought each other is unique, must be him, but finally found that life is always incomplete, and this incomplete, let us complete.Qian, 38 years old, jiangxi province, divorced, 1997 first day, 1998 flood, all her home was flooded, fell into extreme poverty.In 1998, I grazed cattle at home for one year. In 1999, I entered the world. My first stop was Dongguan, where I worked in a factory for five years.At the age of 20, Qian began to think about life and consciously learn techniques such as beauty and hairdressing.Grandpa unfortunately fell down and died, which touched Qian very much, four of her siblings are not in Jiangxi, parents in the countryside farming, in order to take care of the elderly parents, Qian decided to return to Nanchang.During the 11 years when they returned to Nanchang, under the inspiration of Qian, the siblings returned home one after another. The two younger brothers and one elder sister got married and bought a house in Nanchang, so the big family settled down.In 2019, Qian was 35 years old. People at this age are either very successful, or they are ordinary housewives or clerks. Qian has a small house and a car in Nanchang, with an annual income of over 100,000 yuan, which is enough for her to live a small life.So, a person carrying a box alone in Shenzhen, parting, mother cried.Currently, she is majoring in Yi studies in Shenzhen and plans to become rich and free by the age of 40.Successful career, the life planning of the qian marriage is not.At the age of 25, Qian was forced to marry herself casually on a blind date. She was divorced at the age of 35, with a 4-year-old child. She was the only divorcee in their village, and she was criticized for that.According to the custom in her hometown, the daughter who gets married can’t go back to her parents’ home for the Spring Festival as long as she steps out of the house, no matter if she gets divorced or gets married. Since 2014, Qian has been celebrating the Spring Festival alone.She said she was very afraid of the Chinese New Year, as soon as this time, want to find a hole in the ground, hide for a few days.Qian has a little sister, one year New Year home, father had a car accident, everyone blamed her, said she brought bad luck back to her family.Therefore, every year on the 28th and 29th of the Lunar calendar, her mother would tell her to stay home after the Lunar New Year.She also has several sisters, usually living at home, New Year’s Eve to go out to ask for a room, Qian often said mockily, divorced woman has no home, just a ghost.In the first few years, Qian would find it difficult to cry alone in secret, but gradually she learned to accept and get used to it. She had a car and worked as a didi driver on New Year’s Eve, running all night to relieve her loneliness.She never regrets her divorce, nor does she fear marriage because of it. What is important is to get out of a marriage, to look back and summarize in time, to grow from the failed marriage, and to redefine her future life.Cee knew more and more clearly what kind of man she wanted. If she didn’t meet him, she could accept being single and wouldn’t settle for anything. After 30 years old, she knew to demand more from herself rather than her partner.Lose weight, make money, learn, grow, be independent, love yourself, love yourself, only love yourself, can better love others.Especially divorced women, spend more time on themselves, make themselves a little more beautiful, a little more money, a little more valuable, than anything else.This is Akane’s current state and philosophy of life.In September 2021, Qian drove back to Guangdong (1,300 kilometers) from Nanyang, Henan Province alone with a suitcase for more than a month. She was so tired that she slept in the back seat, realizing that what she really needed in life was nothing more than a suitcase and a car.Since then, she has reduced her desire for and pursuit of money. She has a stronger sense of goal and a clearer way to go in the future. Regardless of emotion, career or life, she makes efforts to follow her desires and be calm.A bad marriage is just like a school, in which you have experienced the most painful, the most grievous training, the most tenacious patience, the most biting loneliness, the most hopeless waiting, and then, in an opportunity to be transformed.Akane certainly did.In the course of time, we all lose many things, but we can not lose the courage to love.Murakami haruki: where will someone like loneliness, but do not like to be disappointed.There is no one who does not yearn for the warmth of a home. There is no woman who does not want to marry, but does not like the disappointment it brings.Modern society is increasingly demanding of women, both to earn money to support their families, but also beautiful, originally weak women in the cruel reality of a little awakening, step by step toward this high standard.There are many women like Yu and Akane, who come from humble origins, make their way through the world with their own hands, and finally stand on high posts, equal with the men, and support their families by themselves.They never stop growing, and while their effective weight keeps accumulating, they are labeled as “strong women”.”Strong woman” is a derogatory term in the marriage market. The more excellent a woman is, the smaller the range of choices is, while the more excellent a man is, the larger the range of choices is.Women’s strong social role is praised by people, but the strong in marriage is not at all pleasing, which is the contradiction between traditional concept and modern consciousness.A man’s strength is called career ambition. He has to match a woman who is weaker than himself to highlight his pride of masculinity, and will never find a woman who is equal to or stronger than himself.Male strong female weak, male outside and female inside, this is a traditional collocation, women can rob the scenery of men.From a woman’s point of view, I earn money to buy a house and a car by myself, so I can carry a life, live with abandon, and also a “uncle” why?Excellent woman is not do not want to marry, but do not want to marry casually, not the right person, would rather be alone, rather lack rather is the modern woman’s view of marriage and love.Therefore, men want to marry women who are weaker than themselves, men who are weaker than themselves, and excellent women do not want to marry. The conflict is becoming more acute, and there are 30 million more male bachelors than female bachelors in China. This is the fundamental reason.When women do not need to pay for sex in exchange for means of living, when men do not need to pay for means of living and conquer women, marriage will have a new meaning.Divorce, not married, single, this is an increasingly large groups, they live a unique scenery in our eyes, but traditional holidays in Chinese New Year, but are like the shadow of dark, especially in the feudal thoughts still rooted area, no marriage women are treated, as she and her female friends, or even get kicked out of the house, on the streets.The fierce collision between personal consciousness and mainstream values, personal life style and traditional life style is very clear at the Spring Festival.The dark side of traditional family life is obscured by children and a happy family.Marriage may let us tired, also let us lose a lot, but did not experience the baptism of marriage women, not enough to talk about life, disappointed but not despair, in the emotional river to forge ahead, but can not lose the courage of love.It is not a cry, it is not a charge, it is the feeling of compassion for the weak when one is in danger, it is the feeling of the dying remembering the poetry of the hymn.It’s what keeps us alive. It’s the same as faith.-END- For more exciting content, follow emotional Witch 3

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