The most miserable original match: husband and wife exclude, parents feudal, husband off the rails, see her how to change fate

This is The 137th sister of Sijie’s Shell Wall Story, Miaogo Fukuda, from Guangzhou (all the shell stories were written by the sister herself, but the characters have been changed to protect the sisters’ privacy). My story: My 20s are the time when love is ripe and my career is taking off, while my 30s are the dark time of my life.1. I was maliciously excluded and targeted by all my colleagues at work, so I had no capital to quit;2. The first time I fell in love, we were not happy, and my boyfriend had all kinds of problems. However, I still married him because I wanted to stay in the big city and escape the difficulties I met in work.Sure enough, he soon found fault everywhere to suppress;3. I had a serious disease. After several surgeries, I felt that I could not work any more, so I resigned.4. During school, I suffered from inattention, depression and insomnia, which also made me feel very inferior.These symptoms continue to worsen after a spike in stress at work and inability to solve problems in life.These problems snowballed. After I resigned, I had no pressure from colleagues to exclude me and perform well, but I had to face criticism from my mother-in-law and husband.As a girl who came from a small place and floated in a big city alone, my parents didn’t understand, which only made me reflect on my own problems. Long-term depression, self-abasement and emotional loss made my self-evaluation extremely low.Faced with the condescending strictures of my big-city mother-in-law and the daily oppression and harsh scolding of my husband, I could not even lose my temper. I would just listen stupidly and then nothing would change.Maybe I was called stupid.At that time, MY idea was a pair of life, I want to spend a lifetime with him, for this situation now, I can only tolerate, I am a bad girl, I do not deserve the prosperous career of her husband, IS my value is not enough, will be mother-in-law fancy find fault.During the hardest time, my husband shouted at my mother to take me home every night, saying that I should not drag him down and comparing me with others. When MY health deteriorated, he immediately separated, afraid that I would disturb him.When I came back from my surgery with my frail body, hoping for some comfort from him, he gave me a look of disdain and excitedly left the house.During my ten years or so of treatment, he and my mother-in-law not only abandoned me, but also blamed me, even as I lay in a hospital bed with an operation the next day.He didn’t care about me. He looked at me like an ant on the ground. He thought I was weak and blocked his way.I was pressed to the ground by the hand of fate and rubbed and rubbed.Even though they are all kinds of emotional control and abuse, I have never thought of divorce. As a 985 graduate, my mind is full of feudal dross ideas. I am afraid of losing face, I am afraid of being unable to survive after divorce, and I am afraid that no one wants me anymore.I love reading, asked him to do some book after the intimate relationship exercises, I do such as knife cut, he did when laughing, all kinds of sarcasm.In his words, I treated you badly, but I didn’t divorce you. I treated you well.I used to cry in front of his friends, not knowing what to do with my life.My family listened to my complaints a few times, but they didn’t want to hear any more.My father, who never called or said anything about me (though he did care), even accused me of being pretentious, saying that if you were in the country and you only got a beating, you’d be fine.Born in a small place where boys are preferred to girls, I seem to have difficulties in getting married from the root.Since I was a child, my mother would tell me how bad my father was, but she would think that “divorce is a bad woman.”I was under siege on all sides. If I hadn’t been strong enough, I would have climbed the crooked Neck tree and tied a knot.Being bullied by life is full of bags of time, I met think sister.After examining several big emotional accounts, or chose to understand more women think sister, a big reason is that other people are trying to persuade peace, only think sister said, weighing the pros and cons, not divorce also dare to divorce.You know, I complained to people around me, and almost all of them asked me to learn how to behave. My mother-in-law’s words went in one ear and out the other. Some people even said, I’m really good to you, so I don’t advise you to divorce.”You just leave,” said Si Jie breezily, stunning me.Divorce, for women, is not the end of life?I studied articles on the platform, took notes, and joined “we media”. Watching sijie sisters share their tragic stories, I couldn’t help but lament how difficult it is to be a woman. After you get married, your husband’s family may not accept you, and your mother’s family also think that you are no longer your own family and depend on your husband for your whole life.It took me from a small town to the big city, and it took me out of emotional abuse and manipulation.After entering the sister group, I have reached the middle age like a sponge to absorb gender knowledge, see sister to share the cognition that did not have contact with before.It turns out that divorce is the end of a woman’s feelings, not a woman’s failure, but a return to single life.Originally, so many divorced women had so wonderful.Originally, after marriage, women do not need to revolve around men, with their own good performance to win the company of men in their old age.To this day, my dad believes that his willingness to accompany my mother to her old age is the ultimate reward for her stewardship of the household.My mother agrees that although she has a retirement salary and a much better family of origin than my father, she is afraid of being abandoned by him.Until now, my mother could not imagine how terrible it must be for a woman not to marry.It turned out that I could fight back against the strong PUA of men.Originally, the man does not love me, is not good to me, is not my fault.In order to do we media, I also read some books about emotional blackmail control, and gradually understand the sick psychology of husband and mother-in-law.My husband began to be nervous about me. After having a child, the atmosphere at home became much more relaxed and happy.I used to hate my mother-in-law and husband so much that I could only blame myself for their bullying.Did I forgive my husband when I started talking about divorce?No.Has he changed?Behavior is changing. The average man doesn’t want a divorce.But he is still a mama’s boy, still unable to give warmth and love.But I need time to recover physically and mentally, and I don’t think this is the right time for a divorce, for someone who’s been physically and mentally devastated.My family was no safe haven for me, and they were counting on me to help them.My body was gradually healing, my concentration was impaired, and I learned a method that improved a lot, separating and merging with my family of origin.Learning is still my ability to break ground and be reborn.I still have a bit of emotional back-and-forth, but I also know that I have become a different person and seen a different world than the feudal mind I used to be.Si Si once asked me if you would never get divorced if you were the way you are.I want to say, and line and cherish.36 reasons why men cheat on their husbands: The most pathetic “true love”, the most reasonable and wise wife can not be saved, the one thing that a man must do after cheating on his wife — to stop the internal consuming man cheating, cheating, feudal parents…Life is dark, see how I attack the line

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